College Days by Diane Krentel Hodge
In reality, I don't think anyone is ready for college. Separation from the secure nest of childhood and facing independence for the first time, shakes all you know of life to date. Higher education can be thought of as the first arena where you test how well your foundation stands up and supports you. This journey would take me on a trek into an unknown theater where challenges and struggles drew deep into the reservoir within.
I joined the student body of a small Methodist conservative college called Houghton. I remember the trip to Houghton like it was just yesterday; Mom and Dad sitting in the front seat in their best “Sunday to meeting” clothes, and I was cowering in the backseat in my brand new college suit enjoying the seven hour trip with no brothers to pinch me or bother me. The car ride itself became the a “mini crash course on life” as Mom and Dad fit in last minute instructions on “ what to dos and what not to dos” in college. This made me have even more fears than I had before. Everyone was on edge and if that wasn’t enough, immediately upon arrival on campus a freshman beanie was squashed on my head, crushing my new perm. I was thrown into a world of confusion as I faced a mirage of required orientation procedures…. planning my semester roster, finding my combination mailbox, buying my books, meeting my new roommate and unpacking…. just to name a few. Each task included long lines to test my patience and increase the fear that I would be closed out of a class before even getting up to the “check-in” table .
Navigating through these experiences can be a daunting feat even for the most mature Freshman. As for me, this initiation was shocking as there was no college special weekend to welcome you or a candlelight service of dedication to get you started with encouraging thoughts. Instead it was like being thrown into a cold pool, not knowing how to swim. Interestingly enough, throughout these adjusting times in this new world of academia, I noticed my focus was no longer on whether my “flip” hairdo looked cool or whether or not there was a “Hunk” in my scheduled classes but rather it was centered solely on staying a float; knowing how I was supposed to succeed in this new mental arena.
After surviving the first day, going to class and learning the new routine became the next feat. I always sat in the front seat of most classrooms, that is, if I found them! Sitting in the front would make me appear eager and up for the challenge I thought! But soon I realized that positioning myself under the nose of every austere professor was another upheaval for my sensitive insides. The professors had way of making you feel you knew nothing at all and they spoke a most different language devoid of all the “cools, blasts, and neats“ vernacular of my childhood era. Suddenly this slang became passé and I was confronted with the dire need of using my Webster, as one would use a Bible. To make matters worse, it soon became apparent to me that my college prep courses in high school failed miserably to reflect the scholastic requirements I faced in this college.
One clear recollection of this was in my Principles of Writing class. I had the same English professor, as my parents did when they attended the college many years back. She stood before us with black laced-up shoes, a pure white bun stacked on her head with rimless spectacles perching on her nose, and of course, smelling of lavender. Dr Joe rarely smiled and her dresses draped down to her ankles. I tugged at my short skirt quickly. As I crossed the threshold of her classroom, my inner confidence continued to wane. Our first assignment was to write a descriptive piece about the autumn season. We were dismissed and told to go out in the woods, observe and write down at least 1000 words to describe what we saw. Only a couple of pages were required but it was to be filled with all the eloquence one could muster up! Soon I found myself sitting in damp leaves looking around at the drooping forest and floundering in fear. I had no “epiphany moment” trudging through this laborious process. I passed in my piece on time and it promptly was returned with red marks everywhere. D- stood out for all to see. My spirits were dashed. No Honor-roll for me this semester. My first taste of reality.
Another factor to adjust to was what I will call the “dating-factor”at Houghton. Gradually i realized that the boy to girl ratio was so bad, you could almost go a few days without seeing a single male on campus! If I had wanted to go to a girl’s school I would have done so and this situation was not optimum for me, I thought immaturely. Thankfully, I had a good roommate, Marcia, a farmer’s daughter, graced with intelligence and beauty who enjoyed a good laugh. WE were on the same wave length. On date nights we would hang out the window over the front door of the dorm and spy on other gals getting their goodnight kisses. Frankly, we spent a lot of time laughing about this “island” experience called “college life”. One exam night we even construed a “best ten men” list just for fun and went out to see if we could get them to even say hello to us!!!
To make the dating factor even worse was that there was only one phone per floor in the four story antiquated dorm. Can you imagine only four phones per three hundred talkative, girls . This phone was a constant reminder of the lucky girls who would get called to go out on dates! And guess who was assigned the room right across from the only phone on our floor?? Yes, Marcia and I were the select ones to hear it ring about every five minutes. Whoever was closest was supposed to pick it up and loudly announce the "lucky girl" who was getting a phone call for a date. What delight! Of course, with each annoying ring, it became apparent that we weren’t in great demand. No one had put us on their list, it seemed! It didn’t take you long to figure out who the popular ones were going to be. And by October, Marcia and I were dismayed and disillusioned about the boy-factor. Our preconceptions about beauty and our fetching persona were deeply shaken.
Contrary to today’s youth, who start their evening activities around 10pm and stay up all hours of the night, at our college, you had to be back in your room each night promptly at 10:30PM. To add misery to heartache, there was also a regular bed check to confirm your presence, safe and sound. No need to miss your Mom here! There also was a strict dress codes and dorm check in times. Strict dress code prohibited you from showing your shoulders or kneecaps. Regardless, I would rebelliously roll up the waist line of all my skirts under my bulky sweaters just to make them shorter and more in vogue. Mini skirts were in back then in the real world. For the life of me, I could never figure out why these body areas were too exciting anyhow and I felt such rules just made these areas all the more fetching. It wasn’t long after taking this all in, I reasoned “Why, oh why, had I chosen this college, and what was I to do?” By October, I was ready to go home, forfeit my first vain goal of being a nurse and/or change colleges. My parents sensing a problem, arrived suddenly for a visit the very next weekend.
After long discussions, with a heavy dose of reality checks, we constructed my survival plan. Change majors from Nursing to Elementary Education, as El.Ed. was considered less of a challenge at that time. I was encouraged to persevere at Houghton for at least two years and then we would reevaluate the situation and make changes if necessary. I dropped chemistry immediately.
Before my parents left campus that important weekend so long ago, I remember how we drove down the hill to a quaint little store called Barkers to shop for some much needed supplies and a birthday gift for my roommate, Marcia. What better time to do this when Dad was there with his wallet to lend a helping hand.! This turned out to be the eventful day when I met “Mr. Right” and I didn’t even know it!!!
Ron, a tall, handsome, well-dressed upperclassman waited on us and suddenly I recognized him as one of the “lucky-ten” on Marcia’s and my silly list. Here he was standing right before me and I was dumbfounded and nervous. As it so happened, at that time, there was a contest running at the quaint little country store. Anyone that made purchases, would receive a coupon to be cast into a pot for a free turkey…. as November was fast approaching. (Now I ask you, what would a college student want a turkey for?) But anyhow I threw in my ticket in with all the others and left with my gift in hand with no apparent lightening flashes going off about this tall handsome friendly clerk who waited on me. My parents left and dorm life settled back down again to a routine in my “not so perfect picture” of college....a nip and tuck adjustment in course load and a stretch in my thinking to “hold on” for a few more years.
At the same time the “inner child” ideas from within continued to slowly dissolve. One day while my fingers were slowly pecking out a composition on my new electric typewriter, the phone rang again on our floor, but this time I heard loudly, “Diane Krentel, phone for Diane Krentel!” Mercy me! I rang over to the phone and picked it up and low and behold it was that handsome clerk, Ron. After a short introduction, he stated,” I just wanted to call and tell you the results of the turkey contest at Barkers.” “Oh!” I said instantly as my heart plummeted. With disappointment. I thanked him very much and hemmed and hahhed. Then to make me even more uncomfortable he went on to say I had lost the contest! I didn’t know what to say next and being very gullible, I mumbled out some silly flat statement in embarrassment. But soon I heard a warm chuckle on the other end of the line and he rescued me. He assured me he was just joking and asked if I would I like to go to a movie with him next weekend.
And this became our first date…..a date that started more than forty year relationship where love has ruled each day and held us together for better and worst! Dates, back then, were comprised of walking for miles under a solitary umbrella (as it always was raining at Houghton), going to movies and sharing popcorn, hunting together, spooning in the dorm lounges, shooting rats at the dump (believe it or not ) and parking “across the river”( as the term was generally related “to a good smooch “at this time..! Soon there would be no more talk of transfer for me! I had found my soul mate in this island experience at this challenging school, Houghton!
Each new feat in college broadened and prepared me more for my walk with God. I suppose if I were to choose the most lasting lesson during this time, it would be the one shared by a woman English professor in my senior year. She was a bit lack luster and not at all attractive but one of those intellectual-types that caught your attention. She sourly stated one day
“Many of you are engaged and have no business getting married because you don’t know how to be happy all alone.” Immaturely, I thought how rude and jealous she must be of all those who sported their new quarter-carat diamonds to class! I never really fully grasped the meaning of this until many years later, raising a family.
This was a time when I had to share Ron with the challenges of working for a top-rated global company. I seemed almost to be a spectator some weeks as I watched him climb up the corporate ladder. Many times I was alone, supporting Ron from the quietness of this home. I often wondered and thought about what that professor stated that day so long ago where spring and love were in the air everywhere. What a gem she gave us to ponder on and refine! I was learning first hand that as wonderful as Ron was, he still couldn’t take the only place in my heart. Who really is the captain of my ship? Who steered it to happiness? I then knew what that professor had tried to tell us back in college. The “happiness that the Lord gives” is not the happiness driven by situations, circumstances, or your husband. What that spinster professor was trying to teach us was that our own sense of wellbeing and peace comes from the fullness of a walk with our Savior each day….through the ho-hums of daily routines…the numbing quiet days….the uneventful days where we live and breath. Not just the exciting times. The following poem exemplifies what she was trying to teach us and its’ wisdom is fathomless. The author is unknown.
WAIT
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone-
To have a deep soul relationship with another-To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian says,"
No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with giving yourself totally and
unreservedly to ME-
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone,
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me,
expecting the greatest things
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am
Keep listening to and learning from the things I tell you.
You just WAIT. That's all.
Don't worry.
Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I have give them.
Don't look at the things you think you want, or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when your ready,
I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any of you would dream of.
You see, until you are ready ( I am working at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with ME and the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience that love that exemplifies your relationship with Me;
and this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love
I want to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly,
I am God
Believe it and be satisfied.
The girl-of-my youth changed quickly at college. God was faithful and allowed me to not only to find a wonderful partner for life at Houghton and receive a good GPA, but He allowed me to realize that the key for happiness was directly corresponding to my walk with my Savior. This walk was foundational in facing life’s challenges and joys….. some that were even more stretching than what I had experienced in college.
